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Posts tagged ‘chocolate’

Barbie and the Original Freudian Slip

As promised here is the original story of Barbie and her Freudian slip of calling the Reese’s Pieces candy Reese’s Penis (thanks to a friend who was there for the story):

Barbie, Philip (my son who was about 13) and I went to Vaughan Mills for a day of shopping.

One of our stops was the Rocky Mountain Chocolate store.

At the back of the store are display cases with all of their feature apples.  We went through a few of them–Basic Candy Apples, Oreo Cookie Apple…..

Barbie points to the glass and quite loudly says “look they even have Reese Penis”.

5-4-3-2-1…here comes the look of horror as she plays back in her head what she had just said.   The guy to the right of us is shocked, Philip walked away and I burst into laughter.

Barbie’s face turns red and she asks if she really said what she thought she said….I was laughing so hard all I could do was nod.

At that point we left the store, buying nothing.

  

Barbie and the Freudian Slip

Last night, as we were watching Netflix, I had made some nice hot chocolate using white chocolate powder and warm milk.  As I was bringing the cups out I noticed that my kid had left the foil wrappers from his Hersey’s Kisses on the carpet.  A little annoyed at the fact he didn’t dispose of his trash, and more annoyed that he had knocked it on the floor from the table, I said to him:

“Hey, if you can’t throw out your garbage then there’ll be no more Hersey Kisses for you!  Got it kiddo?”

“Yes dad”, he agreed in that great voice that pre-teens use.  You know the one that makes you want to give them a high five…to the face!

So we went about drinking our hot chocolate, watching the movie Daddy Day Care on Netflix and eating such healthy treats as Kisses, cakes and Reese’s Peanutbutter Trees (like the cups but tree shaped for Christmas).
When we all finished up our drinks and snacks, I decided I’d clean up the dishes.  As I was getting the cups and heading to the kitchen I noticed that I had left a wrapper for one of the Reese’s trees on the table.  As I had only travelled about 5 steps, I backed up and picked up the wrapper to dispose of in the garbage as I made my way into the kitchen.

At that moment Barbie, thinking she’d be a smart arse, looked at me and said mockingly “If you don’t put your wrappers in the garbage there’ll be no more Reese’s Penis for you”.

Everything stopped, my son and I both turned and looked at Barbie.  The look on her face betrayed the fact that she knew she had made a huge slip up.  “I just did it again, didn’t I?  I said penis instead of pieces”, she said.  Without even answering her we all just started laughing our heads off.

Readers catch the point that she said again…that first story will be coming up in the next few days 😀

    

Holiday Befuddlements Part Two

Well, the second installment of holiday guffaws starring none other than my son…again!  He apparently doesn’t do holidays so well.

So about a year and a half ago on Easter Sunday my son made his way downstairs when awoke and plopped himself on the couch.  In walking down the stairs from his room he must have passed at least 3 small chocolate Easter Eggs that were left by the Easter Bunny, and he hadn’t noticed.  However, he did remember there were hockey games on the night before and he flipped on one of the sports channels to see the highlights and scores.

As he was sitting there I turned to him and said “Hey, what day is today?”

“Sunday”

“What Sunday?”

“Um, Easter Sunday?”, he answered with a little uncertainty.

“And what happens on Easter Sunday?”

“We go to Granny’s for dinner?”, again with some uncertainty.

“Yes, but what else happens on Easter Sunday?”

He sat there for a little while and pondered the question for a while and then answered, with great confidence, “I know.  Jesus rose from the dead”

Now, I couldn’t fault him in this answer because he was technically right.  So I said “Yes that bit is also right.  However, that’s not what I was getting at.  Who comes on Easter Sunday?”

I would be lying if I said he answered right away, but to be honest it took the better part of a minute before he muttered to me “The Easter Bunny comes on Easter”

“Yes the Easter Bunny comes and does what?”

At that moment another synapse connected and he exclaimed “Oh man, I have chocolate eggs to find”

And he ran off on his little hunt while I sat there wondering once again how my offspring mind works.

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