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Posts tagged ‘engineering’

Engineering Barbie and Reconstructive Surgery

The other day we were sitting around at lunch and talking about accidents and the damage they can cause. This great conversational piece came about from the safety video a had watched about overhead cranes. During this conversation Engineering Barbie curried in about her friends experience.

“I had a friend who had to get reconstructive surgery after a car accident. You’d never knew she had it done except she looks different now”

We all sat around a little dumb-founded after that.

Engineering Barbie also needs facial recognition programming

Today at lunch I was sitting with two co-workers, one of which was Engineering Barbie and the other was Research Assistant Ken.  While we were eating lunch the following conversation came about:

“Do you know what song is stuck in my head?  That ‘Funky Mother’ song”.  This resulted in somewhat confused looks so Engineering Barbie elaborated.

“You know the one”, and she starts to hum a tune and then lowly sing the following, “…right about now, that funky mother, right about now”

At this point R.A. Ken and I started howling.   “That’s Fatboy Slim”, replied R.A. Ken in between spurts of laughter.  I added to the answer with the proper lyrics by saying, “You mean ‘Right about now, the funk soul brother’ don’t you?”

Immediately I opened up Youtube and found a video for the song.  “Yeah that’s the song.  Now imagine that being stuck in your head for the entire team meeting”, asked Engineering Barbie.

At this point I decided to try to stick another song in her head and said, “Well you could have this one instead.”
I clicked on the link for Snap! singing “I’ve Got The Power“.

Once this video started and the lead rapper, Turbo B, appeared poor Engineering Barbie fell into the ‘Barbie-Zone’ – which is kind of like the Twilight Zone but you see acts of goofiness instead of the weird.

“Oh my god, that’s the guy from Hot Tub something or other.”

At this moment there was a combined jaw drop as we turned to look at her.  R.A. Ken started killing himself laughing.  I, on the other hand, looked at Engineering Barbie and said “Um, no. Completely different dudes”.  Then to make matters a little more humorous, well at least for myself, I added “Not all black folks look-alike.”

Showing just how certain she was, Engineering Barbie started defending her case.  “No, look they have the same eyes”

“What?  Dark brown?  The majority of black people have eyes like that.”

A little frustrated now she pointed out Exhibit B, “Look they have the same nose”

“Yeah, most black people have that nose style.  In fact they even joke about it and call it a black nose.”

Engineering Barbie asked me to open a picture of Craig Robinson, and for the record she called him ‘the dude from the hot tub thingie movie’, so she could prove her case.  So I went to IMDB.com and found a picture of him.   So on one screen I had the music video and on the other screen I had a picture of Craig from the movie and it began.

“Look the nose is the same”, Engineering Barbie exclaimed.

“You mean except for the mole on the left side of the one guy’s nose right?”, I asked not so innocently.

“Oh, um, yeah.  Ok maybe they aren’t the same…or maybe he had it removed!”

“They aren’t the same.  Not all black people look-alike.  And these two dudes are certainly different, much like the other two you tend to confuse”, I added.

“Who else did she confuse?” asked R.A. Ken.

“Hulk Hogan and Mr. T, as they are apparently similar looking too.”

“WHAT?!?!?!?”, exclaimed R.A. Ken right before he turned beet red from laughing so hard.

Engineering Barbie chirped her two cents in with, “Well they are both really big muscular guys.”

“Yeah except Mr. T is like 5’4″ and black while Hogan, although tanned, is 6’7″ and white”, I mentioned.

“Whatever, the one looks like he should be called Mr. T anyways.  I’m going back to work”

And with that dear Engineering Barbie stomped off to her work station.

  

Engineering Barbie is Dyslexic…kind of

OK so I was sitting in the office having lunch with Industrial Designer Ken and Engineering Barbie.  The topic of conversation was the tours we had going on and the ‘big media’ one that we have coming up.  During this I mention that I found a new shirt that said the following:

I’m drunk
You’re ugly
And tomorrow I’ll be sober

We all got a good chuckle out of it and I then stated “Maybe I’ll start wearing it to the team meetings.  Or maybe I’ll dig out my good old ‘I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter’ shirt that I have.”

“You didn’t wear a shirt like that to team meeting did you?” asked Industrial Designer Ken.

“Absolutely I did.  I mean it’s not like they’ll let me wear my hat that says ‘G.F.Y.'”

Engineering Barbie had a good snicker over this but Industrial Designer Ken looked a little lost.

“I don’t get it.  What does G.F.Y stand for?”

“It means Go F*** Yourself”, I replied.

Engineering Barbie then looked perplexed and went “I thought it meant Jesus F***ing Christ”

I then looked at Engineering Barbie and went “You do realize that would be JFC not GFY right?”

In her best attempts to cover her tracks she answered back with “Maybe I’m dyslexic”

“Um, dyslexia means you scramble letters up…not create whole new letters”, I told her.

Undeterred she answered back with that classic reply, ‘Whatever”.  And off she went leaving both Designer Ken and I completely confused and perplexed.

Engineering Barbie and the Camping Gear

This blog started out as the adventures of one particular person who we nicknamed Barbie and whom, on occasion, did or said silly things that made you slap your forehead.  Well, first we expanded to stories of a family friend that we nicknamed British Barbie.  Then we had the Barbie-in-training story and now, courtesy of my workplace, we have Engineering Barbie.

Today while walking through the corridors of work to go and get beverages for our afternoon break the two co-workers who were with me started talking about an upcoming camping trip.  During this discussion it was bandied around on who was bringing what.  I, somewhat jokingly, said to my male colleague that all he needed to bring was beer.  Engineering Barbie then told me that wasn’t allowed because you can’t bring glass onto the campsite.  So, not to be out done, I said “that’s fine, they sell beer in cans too”.
“No, you can’t bring cans either.  No glass, no cans are allowed.  You must bring it in a non-throw-away-able container”

I have to admit I stood there gobsmacked and said “Did you just say non-throw-away-able?”

Sheepishly she admitted that she had.  I then asked “Don’t you mean re-usable or non-disposable?”

Again she sheepishly admitted that was exactly what she meant but couldn’t think of the word.  And then in a moment of defiance she said “Well, I’m tired and not thinking straight.  That’s why I’m going for coffee”

  

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