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Posts tagged ‘GO Train’

The Cold Affects Barbie’s Brain

I have to be honest with everyone.  If not for the live, commercial free airing of Smackdown then I would have had two posts not one.  In saying that here’s the great couple of days that have surrounded Barbie and her adventurous spirit in Toronto.


Barbie got to work and went through her usual routine of setting up her desk, since her work is too cheap to have permanent desk’s for everyone, and getting sorted out for the work day.  All things seemed to go according to plan, that is until lunch time.  At lunch time it all went awry.  When it was time for lunch Barbie went the to office kitchen and opened the fridge.  Pondering for a while, because something seemed wrong, she stared at the fridge.  Finally it clicked in – her lunch was missing.  Instantly Barbie figured someone stole her food.  Quickly scanning the other office workers, Barbie channelled her inner Encyclopaedia Brown and tried to figure out who was the thief.  As Barbie was doing the ‘over the cubicle head scan’ trying to sort out who was the culprit something inside her head was saying “You’re getting colder”.  Unfortunately for poor Barbie this voice wasn’t playing that stand-by game of “Getting Warmer, Getting Colder” with her.  This was a clue.  It turns out that Barbie, in a moment of absent-mindedness, she placed her lunch inside the freezer of the fridge instead of the regular fridge part.


Today was a rather good day…or it was until about 3.45pm.  I grabbed Barbie from her place of work on the way to the GO Train and we took off down York Street toward Union Station.  We were passing the Sigma Building at 55 York Street when all of a sudden Barbie dropped like Joe Frazier.  It seems that due to some brilliant construction work, or really shoddy engineering, there is quite the difference in height between the sidewalk and sidewalk markers.  In fact about 1/2″ difference actually, which is nearly 13mm for the metric crowd.  To anyone who doesn’t know the math apparently, as scientific studies show, all that is needed is 2mm (which is 0.08 inches) difference in height to upset someone’s balance.  So down she went, mild injury to the ankle and that is all thankfully, and I was standing over Barbie.  After helping her up, and making sure she was ok, we went off to the GO Train.
We made the train in time to get a seat, which is crucial on our line, and awaited the usual crowd that we sit with.  It seems we are the only suckers working this week since they didn’t arrive.  Barbie, having been out with some former co-workers, had a few extra bags of stuff with today.  So we bundled ourselves into the seats and did the best we could to get our bags, as well as the extra bags, under seats to eliminate the encroachment into the sitting space of the other riders. This posed a problem.  The problem isn’t that we couldn’t fit the bags under and leave our co-commuters the appropriate space but rather that we were able to accomplish such a feat.  As we pulled into our stop, which caught Barbie off guard and this might have been part of the issue, Barbie scrambled to shut down her e-reader and get her bags together.  We scrambled off the train and as we were walking down the platform Barbie turned to me and said “Oh good.  You have my backpack”
I looked rather confused at her and replied “No I don’t.  I have my own backpack and one of the extra bags but not your backpack”.

As the train was pulling away from us Barbie realized that her backpack, complete with laptop, notebooks and such, was sitting under our chairs on the train that was slowly pulling away to the west.


smackdown encyclopedia brown sigma go


What?!? It’s a wreathe?

This is a bit of an old story but worth sharing.  The other day Barbie and I were sitting around on the GO train when the announcement for the next station came over the speakers.  The voice rang a bell with Barbie and triggered a bit of a flashback to another train ride just before Christmas.

We were riding on one of the late trains home just before Christmas and we over heard a conversation between four other riders.

“Hey, do you guys know where I could buy a reef?”, asked a male rider who was about 40ish and will be Rider #1 from here out.

Rider #2, who was a female about 50ish, answered him “Um, in almost any store.  Home Depot, Canadian Tire, Walmart.  Just pick one”

“Really?  Home Depot?”, asked Rider #1.

“Yeah you can get them in Home Depot”, replied Rider #3 – another male in his 40’s.

“Wow.  I was in Home Depot and they told me they didn’t sell them.  I walked up to one of the kids and asked him where they keep the reefs”, mentioned Rider #1.

“Wait a minute”, chipped in Rider #4 (another female but in her 40’s), “did you say reef or wreathe?”

“Reef.  Why?”, asked Rider #1

A few chuckles started among Rider #1’s fellow riders at this point.

“It’s a wreathe.  A reef is marijuana”, Rider #4 informs Rider #1 .

“What?  Really?  Man no wonder the kids wouldn’t show me.  I’m in asking for marijuana instead of a Christmas decoration?”, states Rider #1.  “Oh geez, I can’t go back to that Home Depot anymore.  Those kids will think I’m a drug officer and man, this explains why those kids were snickering too”

We were busting a gut all the way home from the train station laughing at how someone in their 40’s didn’t know the difference between a reef and a wreathe however.



Barbie and The Reservation

As I have mentioned in previous blog postings Barbie and I ride the GO train into Toronto for our jobs.  When you ride with the same people day in and day out for 5 years, in my case and 3 years in Barbie’s case, you get to develop what is referred to as ‘train friends’.  Our case is a little different as we have evolved our friendships with our ‘train friends’ into just regular friends.  We have meals with them, invite them to social gatherings, have celebrated retirements, weddings and child births as well as mourned deaths. To sum it up, we just keep in touch with each other on a basis much more than just commuters sharing a ride into the city.

So last night was one of our ‘GO train gatherings’ as we had dinner at Kelsey’s in Brampton – which by the way the service is horrid.  We will have to seriously look at a new dinner venue.  So taking the train home last night there were four of us sitting together having a good old chat.  During this chat the familiar tones of the theme from The Twilight Zone could be heard as Rod Serling voice overlayed his monologue that began each show.  Yes it was time for our loving Barbie to exit from reality have a ‘moment’.

“Did you make a reservation?”, she asked of me.  And since we had 12 people coming it was a valid question but I was in a smart arse mood.

“Do I look Native American to you?”, I replied sarcastically.

Instantly the other two ladies with us started snickering.  It became obvious that a joke had occurred and that poor Barbie missed it.  With a look of confusion she said,
“I don’t get it.”

“Ok”, I said.  “Where do natives live?”
I was fully expecting at this point the conversation would end as Barbie would then clue into my reservation reference.  Especially since she garnered that look of confidence she gets whenever she has the impression that she knows the answer 100%.

“In a tepee” she adamantly exclaims.

“Oh, Jesus Christ”, I muttered.  “Ok, and where is the tepee located.”
This time I was really sure she would get the answer required.

With great certainty, but not the overbearing confidence she had with answer one, she answered,
“In Wawa”

Fighting the urge to slap my forehead like one of the Three Stooges I gathered the patience for one more hinting question.
“And that big piece of land in Wawa is called what?”, I asked while making hand gestures to show obvious acreage of land.

She looked as us a little befuddled and answered, really unsure of herself, “A reserve?!?!?”

“A reservation.  Get it now?”

“Yes”, she said with annoyance.  “But I don’t think it’s really all that funny you know.  I’ve actually seen them living in tepees in Wawa so I really wasn’t wrong”, she proclaimed with great defiance at our humour.


Teen Barbies and the Foods They Like

Another great story from a follower who reads the blog in regards to the silliness he’s overheard on his commuter train from Teen Barbies or Barbies-in-Training.

It seems this young ladies, 3 in total, were riding the GO train into Toronto and discussing food options they enjoy.  Based on the story told to me it went something like this:

“I really enjoy certain seafood, like crab and stuff.  And I absolutely love shrimp”, says teen #1.

“No, I’m not a fan of that stuff”, retorts teen #2.  “I’m more a beef girl.”

“Yeah, I don’t really like beef”, replies teen #1.

“Well, growing up my dad and grandad used to go splits on half a cow”, explains teen #2.  “So we wound up with a lot of beef and all the different cuts of beef in our freezer.”

“Oh wow, that would be nice.  The different steaks and hamburgers and stuff”, chipped in teen #3.

At this moment it all went downhill as teen #1 added, “Oh that is cool.  Did you get bacon with that too?”

Teen #2 replies “Yeah I think we did.  I always had bacon in the house so I guess bacon does come with it”

Apparently a few moments passed when all of a sudden one of thos scientific miracles, like the Big Bang, occured on the train and teen #3 had a great moment of clarity (or at least the connection of another synapse) and she piped up “Um, I don’t think bacon comes from a cow…I think bacon comes from pigs”

The three girls dropped the conversation at that point, probably due to the confusion they were all feeling at such a monumental step in intellect.


Barbies in-training…and why I drink

OK, so I get an email from a reader who felt that this deserved a place on the Barbie Fails Blog, and after reading his email I fully agree.

“I was sitting on the GO train tonight heading home and two ladies ( aged somewhere around 16-18 bracket) were trying to play a game where each girl would name a new animal using the last letter of the animal name used ( eg: goat, next person needs to find a T animal).
During the announcements at one station I couldn’t hear what one of the girls says, but the next answer is beef cow. The other girl challenges the answer with get vigor saying that there is no such thing as a beef cow.  At this moment I had a small snicker and felt badly for the, what I thought was, lesser intelligent of the two girls.  That moment of grandeur was short-lived and the intellectual bubble was not just burst but mushroom clouded when she felt the need to add the followingand the REAL answer is steak cow”. They fight about this for the next 5 minutes.
At the end of all this they came to the conclusion and belief that there was a difference between the 2 animals – beef and steak cows……this is why i cry for the future.”

And it is for reasons like this that I drink…in fact I might have one now


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