I have to deeply apologize for not updating this blog since April 16th however we have had a whirlwind month and a bit. On April 22nd Barbie and I had a baby boy named Alexander who weighed 6lb 13oz. Since then we’ve had a few Barbie-esque moments, and as anyone who has had children before can attest, time has not really been much of a freedom when you have someone looking to eat every 2 to 3 hours and needing diaper changes every 2 hours as well.
So we’ll start at the beginning – the day of delivery. Barbie checked for inducement at 8.00am on the 22nd at the local hospital. By 8.30am everything was set in motion. By 1pm I had arrived at the hospital from work to take part in the ‘miracle of birth’. Things were moving along rather slowly and discussions had started about using pitocin, epidurals and manually breaking Barbie’s water. So we waited, and waited, and waited for nature to take it’s proper course.
By 4pm the OB/GYN came into the room and decided that he didn’t want to wait any longer. He took a seat like he was playing Texas Hold’em and before I knew it a sound akin to the River Nile was in the room. So the water was broke and things finally were set in motion…so I thought.
By 7pm not a single thing happened. So step number two occurred. One of the nurses came in and hooked up am pitocin IV drip to speed things up. Actually it turns out to have been oxytocin, which should not be confused with oxycontin as any lady who has been in labour can attest to.
By 8pm the anesthesiologist came in to insert the epidural drip. Realistically the whole procedure should have taken 15 to 20 minutes. Instead we had 3 attempts, 3 different holes and a pregnant Barbie who was very sore, very agitated and not a happy camper with the fact that 45 minutes later this guy still couldn’t get the epidural to take. Eventually Barbie, who had been sitting up and leaning at a 30 degree angle against me, told him “I’ve had enough, you need to stop.” Defeated the anesthesiologist did the walk of shame out of the room. Barbie muttered painfully at this moment “I should have gotten a puppy instead”.
The sitting up had actually done more for Barbie than any of the previous attempts as she opened up from 4cm, as of 8pm, to a whopping 9.5cm by 8.45pm. At about 9.15 one of the assistant nurses came in and asked Barbie to give a little push to see where the baby’s head was in terms of coming out. So Barbie pushed as requested and the nurse went “Whoa, you need to stop. That was a great push and this kid’s ready to come out.” She grabbed the first nurse walking past and told her get the O.B. down here now.
By 9.21 the doctor arrived and and things went like wildfire. To start with the bed transformed from being a bed to being a bed with stirrups. It was the wildest thing. The bottom third, where the legs would be obviously, slid out and collapsed. Then these two legs popped up with stirrups on them. The doctor then slide his chair in and took a position like Johnny Bench playing catcher for the Cincinnati Reds. Barbie started pushing and pushing. After about 20 minutes of pushing the head started to crown out.
At the moment the head was coming out the doctor, for reasons only known to him, decided he was working fo Ipsos Reid and took a poll. Looking around the room, starting with me, he asked everyone what they thought the baby was a boy or a girl. I said a boy, Barbie’s mom said a girl, Barbie’s cousin said a girl would be nice but a boy and finally Barbie, when asked, what she would like, answered simply
“I just want it out.”
Five minutes later the new born baby boy was out and Barbie wasn’t so focused on having a new puppy instead.