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Posts tagged ‘lost’

Barbie’s tea, toast, and the spill of doom

Good Afternoon readers.  Today we have a special guest blogger contributing to the Barbie Fails saga.  Kyle is a co-worker of Barbie’s and he was eye-witness to a special display typical of our poor Barbie this morning.  This is the recap he sent to me when I heard there was a bit of misadventure:

“I saw Barbie walking into the self-serve Tim’s and having known her for a few years, was optimistically expecting a decent show of some sort. Barbie sees me, says “Hey! how are you?” and I actually think this is what set the events in motion since now there was the pressure of having some one she knows behind her in the line.

Barbie selects her tea from the choices (she was shielding this part with her body, not sure if she put something extra in her cup or not). After blocking both the tea and coffee sections for a couple of minutes while she struggled with selecting milk size and amount, she makes her way off to the side to remove the tea bag and add the lid. I’ve bought Barbie tea before, I know she keeps the bag in for a bit to steep the tea, so I was surprised to see her fiddling with the tea bag, like she was going to take it out. Her next move is where it got interesting. In a move similar to a cowboy flicking a whip, she managed to yank/snap her tea bag out of her cup, while spilling roughly half her tea back onto the counter and floor, and throws the bag onto the floor (she’s standing beside the garbage hole, designed for tea bags, stir sticks etc.).

Barbie has everyone in lines attention now, mainly because she is blocking us all, and is clearly flustered. After walking around in a circle twice she decides she should clean up her mess, with the one napkin she has in her hand. I take this opportunity to ask “Do you work from home a lot Barbie? Clearly you aren’t used to being in a public setting.” People are politely trying to walk around Barbie and her mess, while she uses her foot and napkin to push the tea on the floor around, increasing the size of the spill. She manages to track down more napkins, tidies up the tea on the counter and floor and lines up to pay. I can see her searching pockets and trying to juggle her half a cup of tea (she didn’t refill the spilled amount) and toast and she turns to me and says “Crap Kyle, I think I lost my money, I may need you to pay for me”. After a show like that, I truly felt like I owed Barbie something and would have been more than happy to pay her for the show (think of contributing to a buskers act by giving them a twoonie or some change). She locates her money and manages to pay for her tea and toast without any further incidents. At this point I haven’t heard if there was anything else exciting about the tea and toast….”

  

Haley Joel Osment sees Dead People…I See Barbies

OK, we are all familiar with the movie Sixth Sense.  Even if you’ve never seen the movie you definitely know the scene where a young Haley Joel Osment tells Bruce Willis that he sees dead people.  That line has been parodied in various Hollywood spoofs and even internet de-motivational posters (my favourite being the one that says “I see stupid people”).

Well, not a lot unlike Haley Joel, I too see people…mine are living though.  More importantly I see Barbie-esque style fails all around me.  I’m starting to think that the creation of this blog has fine tuned my inner senses to such actions and this week has been good.  We’ll start with the Barbies-in-training, and two Kens-in-training, before going on to our actual Barbie.

Yesterday, while going to get lunch at the Ontario Power Generation building, I witnessed three instances of Barbie-isms within 3 minutes.  While making my way to the Tim Horton’s for a sandwich and tea I witnessed a lady walk up to the revolving door and push with all her might.  Not once.  Not twice.  But three different times this poor woman shoved with all her might and the door wouldn’t budge.  At this moment, with a great moment of intellectual clarity, the woman turned around 180 degrees and after making a quick check that she didn’t know anyone, pushed on the opposite glass pane.  You know, the one with the handle attached – unlike the one she was previously shoving.  Miraculously the door rotated and this lady was freed.

Right after this little moment I went into Tim Horton’s and witnessed more follies.  As I was standing in line making my order I over heard the young lady working announce the order she brought to the counter.  “Boston Cream doughnut and a medium double-double”, announced the Tim’s employee.  I noticed a guy standing beside, who looked like a local university student, pull out a receipt from his pocket.  Read this receipt over with great intensity.  Look up at the counter, back at the receipt and then back at the counter.  Having fully deduced that this massive ordering of food was indeed his to enjoy he proceeded to put away the receipt and grab the food and drink.

A mere 30 seconds later, as I finished making my order, the same employee came up and announced another order.  “Bagel with cream cheese and a medium regular”, she announced.  Standing beside me was another university looking guy with a skateboard.  I had a moment of deja vu then as this guy also took out his receipt, read through it with the same scrutiny as the previous student and then took his food as well.  When my order came up I took it, without scanning my receipt, turned around and noticed that both of these young guys happened to be sitting at the same table.  I have to admit I was snickering as I was leaving to go back to work.

And now for the main event…

Today riding home from the train the ‘real’ Barbie of this blog was sitting there on the phone with a call from work.  During this conversation Barbie started rifling through her purse aimlessly.  Suddenly the purse shuffling became more intense.  Barbie was holding her Blackberry case in her hand and looking around for her phone.  A look of panic came on her face as she mouthed the words “Where’s my Blackberry?”.  I looked at her sort of weirdly and before I could mutter anything at all our dear Barbie had it click that she was holding her Blackberry in one hand, since she was talking on it, and the case in the other.

Yes folks I see Barbies…they are everywhere.

 

    

Barbie’s Blackberry and the Cloak of Invisibility

The other day Barbie was in a meeting with her fellow co-workers and a tragic event occurred – she misplaced her Blackberry.

Now for anyone who has a Blackberry, whether it be for business or personal, knows that these devices have been nicknamed ‘Crackberry’ for a reason.  The device is an addiction with its ability to send you emails, text messages and BBM’s.  But at least its not the type of addiction that has you dancing on tables topless or sleeping in cardboard box 😀

OK back to the story, Barbie misplaced her Blackberry.  As she was packing up after the meeting she slowly realized that her Blackberry had become undone from her pants and had dropped somewhere.  The big question was where?
Placing on her proverbial Sherlock Holmes cap the search began.  Barbie started her search.  She searched her purse, her laptop roller-bag, the table and all around the meeting room in general.  Alas there was no success in her search.
At this point Barbie’s co-worker, Lori, came into the meeting room and asked her what the problem was.  Barbie informed Lori that she had lost her Blackberry during the meeting and couldn’t find it.  Lori came up with the idea that they should call Barbie’s Blackberry.  This seemed to be an agreed upon method.  So Lori went out to the hallway and started calling from her Blackberry, however Barbie also started calling from the meeting room conference phone.  Needless to say there was nothing but a busy signal to be heard.  Lori noticed that Barbie had also been calling and decided that the plan should be that she would call Barbie’s Blackberry from her own Blackberry and they could trace the sound and locate the missing device.  So, Lori calls the Blackberry and the ringing begins.  So the audio bloodhound work begins.  As each ring occurs the two ladies close in on the ‘sounds of music’ from Barbie’s Blackberry much like Tommy Lee Jones on Harrison Ford in ‘The Fugitive’.
Barbie finally nailed down the location of the sounds and found her Blackberry…underneath her scarf on her seat.  Yes, it seems the Blackberry had come undone from Barbie’s pants, and slid underneath her scarf.  So poor Barbie had actually been sitting on the phone which, in her somewhat defense, had been hidden by her scarf much like Harry Potter and his Cloak of Invisibility.

Imagine if someone called the phone and it started vibrating while she was on it?

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