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Posts tagged ‘research’

Engineering Barbie also needs facial recognition programming

Today at lunch I was sitting with two co-workers, one of which was Engineering Barbie and the other was Research Assistant Ken.  While we were eating lunch the following conversation came about:

“Do you know what song is stuck in my head?  That ‘Funky Mother’ song”.  This resulted in somewhat confused looks so Engineering Barbie elaborated.

“You know the one”, and she starts to hum a tune and then lowly sing the following, “…right about now, that funky mother, right about now”

At this point R.A. Ken and I started howling.   “That’s Fatboy Slim”, replied R.A. Ken in between spurts of laughter.  I added to the answer with the proper lyrics by saying, “You mean ‘Right about now, the funk soul brother’ don’t you?”

Immediately I opened up Youtube and found a video for the song.  “Yeah that’s the song.  Now imagine that being stuck in your head for the entire team meeting”, asked Engineering Barbie.

At this point I decided to try to stick another song in her head and said, “Well you could have this one instead.”
I clicked on the link for Snap! singing “I’ve Got The Power“.

Once this video started and the lead rapper, Turbo B, appeared poor Engineering Barbie fell into the ‘Barbie-Zone’ – which is kind of like the Twilight Zone but you see acts of goofiness instead of the weird.

“Oh my god, that’s the guy from Hot Tub something or other.”

At this moment there was a combined jaw drop as we turned to look at her.  R.A. Ken started killing himself laughing.  I, on the other hand, looked at Engineering Barbie and said “Um, no. Completely different dudes”.  Then to make matters a little more humorous, well at least for myself, I added “Not all black folks look-alike.”

Showing just how certain she was, Engineering Barbie started defending her case.  “No, look they have the same eyes”

“What?  Dark brown?  The majority of black people have eyes like that.”

A little frustrated now she pointed out Exhibit B, “Look they have the same nose”

“Yeah, most black people have that nose style.  In fact they even joke about it and call it a black nose.”

Engineering Barbie asked me to open a picture of Craig Robinson, and for the record she called him ‘the dude from the hot tub thingie movie’, so she could prove her case.  So I went to IMDB.com and found a picture of him.   So on one screen I had the music video and on the other screen I had a picture of Craig from the movie and it began.

“Look the nose is the same”, Engineering Barbie exclaimed.

“You mean except for the mole on the left side of the one guy’s nose right?”, I asked not so innocently.

“Oh, um, yeah.  Ok maybe they aren’t the same…or maybe he had it removed!”

“They aren’t the same.  Not all black people look-alike.  And these two dudes are certainly different, much like the other two you tend to confuse”, I added.

“Who else did she confuse?” asked R.A. Ken.

“Hulk Hogan and Mr. T, as they are apparently similar looking too.”

“WHAT?!?!?!?”, exclaimed R.A. Ken right before he turned beet red from laughing so hard.

Engineering Barbie chirped her two cents in with, “Well they are both really big muscular guys.”

“Yeah except Mr. T is like 5’4″ and black while Hogan, although tanned, is 6’7″ and white”, I mentioned.

“Whatever, the one looks like he should be called Mr. T anyways.  I’m going back to work”

And with that dear Engineering Barbie stomped off to her work station.

  

Research Assistant Ken and the Solid Pipe

I was going to tell this story yesterday but since it was the 50th post I had to tell a Barbie related story, and since I’ve still got a few backlogged that I haven’t written I figured it was a good time to spill one out.  However, this story is about a co-worker of mine who is rather fond of the blog and laughs a lot at them when he hears them.  And now, due to a momentary lapse of synapse connection, he is going to be immortalized as a guest post.

My place of work is one of the premier research hospitals in North America, and the top one in Canada.  The tasks I have are to build prototypes of various devices, designed to assist patients and medical staff, that are tested and eventually put to market.  One of these projects that we were building involved a metal frame bent into shape with various diameter pipes.  One of the pipes wasn’t holding the form it was designed to hold so we figured we’d bend some new pipe with a thicker wall and better stability.

As we were trying to manually bend the pipe without crimping it, because our pipe bender is out of commission at the moment, my co-worker came out with a suggestion of such magnitude and brilliance that I heard angels sing from the heavens…or maybe just the extreme loudness of my laughter.

“Hey”, R.A. Ken says, “instead of using these pipes here wouldn’t the project be much stronger if we use a solid pipe?”

“If we use a what?”, I asked incredulously.

“A solid pipe.”

“A solid pipe?”, I asked again.

“Yeah a solid pipe.  That would make it way stronger and spring back wouldn’t it?” Ken asked.

“A solid effin’ pipe?”

“Yeah a solid…pipe…”, Ken repeated rather slowly as you could see the lights start to brighten inside his brain.  “Dammit, you know what I meant.  And you’re going to blog this aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah you know I will”, I said.  “A solid pipe hahahaha.”

I walked back to office laughing my head off and really wondering whether a university degree is actually a good thing.

  

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