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Barbie’s New Word

Well, following in the steps of such great linguistic geniuses as Stephen Colbert (truthiness), Pat Riley (three-peat) and even William Shakespeare (bedazzled and circumstantial) our Barbie girl has added to the English language with her own word creation.

Last night as we were sitting around watching the new Shark Week: 20th Anniversary DVD that I had picked up I noticed that Barbie had turned into Sleeping Beauty, as duly noted in previous blog posts as to what happens when the television is on.  As the episode Shark Attack Survivors was ending, and the extremely late time of 8.45pm, Barbie stirred a little and said ‘Shall we watch another episode?’

I sort of looked cock-eyed at Barbie and went ‘Or we just go to bed since you’re sleeping already.  I can easily read a book.’

‘But I’m not sleeping.  We can watch another episode’, was Barbie’s answer.

Again I looked at her rather askew, and went ‘Um, your eyes were closed and you missed half the episode.’

‘Maybe, but I wasn’t sleeping.  I was in my pre-sleep before I go to bed’

Ok, I’ll admit that I’m not Mr. Oxford or anything, but even I know that pre-sleep isn’t a proper word … so I called her out on it.
‘Pre-sleep?  That’s not even a word.  Its called sleeping or napping.  Not pre-sleeping.’

‘Well, it should be a word.  And I’m going to make it a word!’

So ladies and gentlemen here it is, Barbie’s new word and its corresponding definition for the new English word Pre-sleep

pre-sleep –  The act of sleeping outside of the bedroom and in no greater than 60 minutes prior to one’s bedtime.  Pre-sleeping most often occurs on a couch while a television program is broadcasting in the background.

  

Barbie’s Bedtime

First off let me apologise for not updating this blog in what seems like an eternity.  Its not due to a lack of events and stories but rather a lack of time on my part.  So without further ado, let’s tell a Barbie story.

One evening, after a hectic, busy day at work, Barbie came home and cracked open her laptop to do some additional work that required finishing to meet deadlines for the morning.  So after a good two hour of plugging away Barbie decided enough was enough and it was time to unwind on the couch and watch a little television.

As Criminal Minds opening credits faded to black so did Barbie’s consciousness.  By first commercial break, around 9.10, I gave Barbie a little shake and told her:
“Hey, you’re sleeping.  Just go up to bed, I can clean up everything down here”
“No I’m not”, Barbie said.  “I’m just resting my eyes a little.  I really am watching.”

So I let it be, and without fail, as the commercials ended so did Barbie’s foray in the world of those who are awake and to the land of nod she went.  Again I awaited for the commercial break, around 9.25, to make another attempt to Miss Barbie.
“OK, you aren’t watching at all.  You feel right asleep again.  Just go to bed and I’ll settle up.  I can always read or something.”
“No, I’m watching the show.  What’s happened again?  And I’m comfortable here.”

I just shook my head and dropped the issue.  And like the previous two incidents our Barbie girl was in the realm of R.E.M. (maybe dreaming of happy, shiny people…who knows) and the show carried on watching her instead of her watching it.  At 10.00 when the episode ended I decided this was the appropriate time to make my third attempt.

“Hey, the episode is over.  Let’s head upstairs”, I said.  And this is where it all went wrong…

“STOP PRESSURING ME!!!!”, Barbie exclaimed. 

 Once my laughing subsided, she proceeded to say, ” I’m comfy here and I don’t want to move.  Why are you making me get up?  Why can’t I stay here?”

“You can, and I can just wake you in the morning when the alarm goes off”

Barbie, I think having finally hit a state of waking conscious and extreme grumpiness, decided that going up to a bed would be better rest than the couch and off she went.  Although to be honest it was a mild stomping of annoyance as she went upstairs.

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