While sitting around wrapping Christmas gifts this evening Barbie and I had the old Christmas classic by Rankin and Bass Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. As we were going through the gifts she held up a drinking glass emblazoned with pictures of Justin Bieber. Just to be clear she bought this cup for her 6-year-old cousin.
“I can’t wait to give this to my little cousin”, Barbie exclaimed. “She’ll be so excited to be drinking a cup of Beaver…f*ck, I mean Bieber.”
After about ten seconds of letting it sink in, mixed with my laughter, Barbie muttered “Why does this always happen to me?”
I can only assume it happens for the amusement of us all.
The other day as we were sitting watching television little Miss Barbie was fighting sleep, and we’ve already covered her television-sleep issues in the Pre-Sleep article. A rather groggy Barbie looks over at me and goes “Can I have a hug?”
My first reaction, because I wasn’t really paying attention, was “What?”
“I need a hug. So give me a hug or get one of those hug machines”, Barbie replies.
“Hug machines? What are you on about?”, I asked her.
“You know those hug machines that Shooter McGavin built”, Barbie stated.
“Shooter McGavin? The guy from Happy Gilmore? He didn’t build a hug machine”, was my retort.
“No, the autistic girl with the movie”, she replied.
“Temple Grandin?” I asked.
“Yeah that’s the one.”
“But you said Shooter McGavin. That’s not even the right sex never mind the real person/fictional person debate”, I said.
“Whatever, their names are close enough. Can I have the hug or not?”
While watching the TV last night Barbie and I were having a cup of tea and we brought out a box of Peek Freans Assorted Tea Biscuits. As Barbie was eating one of the cookies she developed a look of disgust that one develops when something putrid enters your mouth.
“This cookies says ‘Nice’ on it”, Barbie exclaimed. “Its a lie there nothing nice about this taste”
At this point I was going to bring up that the Nice is actually a reference to the town in France where Peek Freans is from however Barbie cut me off with
“Oh, wait, it might mean Nice (pronounced Niece).” Barbie realised.
“Yeah, it’s named after the town in France. Peek Freans used to have that as their advert that ‘they aren’t nice but Nice (niece)’.”
Barbie looked at me and went “Well, it says nice and it should say shit because that’s what they taste like”
After a few seconds past Barbie looked backed over at me and went “You’re going to write this one aren’t you?”
“Absolutely” I said.