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Posts tagged ‘Toronto’

The Cold Affects Barbie’s Brain

I have to be honest with everyone.  If not for the live, commercial free airing of Smackdown then I would have had two posts not one.  In saying that here’s the great couple of days that have surrounded Barbie and her adventurous spirit in Toronto.


Barbie got to work and went through her usual routine of setting up her desk, since her work is too cheap to have permanent desk’s for everyone, and getting sorted out for the work day.  All things seemed to go according to plan, that is until lunch time.  At lunch time it all went awry.  When it was time for lunch Barbie went the to office kitchen and opened the fridge.  Pondering for a while, because something seemed wrong, she stared at the fridge.  Finally it clicked in – her lunch was missing.  Instantly Barbie figured someone stole her food.  Quickly scanning the other office workers, Barbie channelled her inner Encyclopaedia Brown and tried to figure out who was the thief.  As Barbie was doing the ‘over the cubicle head scan’ trying to sort out who was the culprit something inside her head was saying “You’re getting colder”.  Unfortunately for poor Barbie this voice wasn’t playing that stand-by game of “Getting Warmer, Getting Colder” with her.  This was a clue.  It turns out that Barbie, in a moment of absent-mindedness, she placed her lunch inside the freezer of the fridge instead of the regular fridge part.


Today was a rather good day…or it was until about 3.45pm.  I grabbed Barbie from her place of work on the way to the GO Train and we took off down York Street toward Union Station.  We were passing the Sigma Building at 55 York Street when all of a sudden Barbie dropped like Joe Frazier.  It seems that due to some brilliant construction work, or really shoddy engineering, there is quite the difference in height between the sidewalk and sidewalk markers.  In fact about 1/2″ difference actually, which is nearly 13mm for the metric crowd.  To anyone who doesn’t know the math apparently, as scientific studies show, all that is needed is 2mm (which is 0.08 inches) difference in height to upset someone’s balance.  So down she went, mild injury to the ankle and that is all thankfully, and I was standing over Barbie.  After helping her up, and making sure she was ok, we went off to the GO Train.
We made the train in time to get a seat, which is crucial on our line, and awaited the usual crowd that we sit with.  It seems we are the only suckers working this week since they didn’t arrive.  Barbie, having been out with some former co-workers, had a few extra bags of stuff with today.  So we bundled ourselves into the seats and did the best we could to get our bags, as well as the extra bags, under seats to eliminate the encroachment into the sitting space of the other riders. This posed a problem.  The problem isn’t that we couldn’t fit the bags under and leave our co-commuters the appropriate space but rather that we were able to accomplish such a feat.  As we pulled into our stop, which caught Barbie off guard and this might have been part of the issue, Barbie scrambled to shut down her e-reader and get her bags together.  We scrambled off the train and as we were walking down the platform Barbie turned to me and said “Oh good.  You have my backpack”
I looked rather confused at her and replied “No I don’t.  I have my own backpack and one of the extra bags but not your backpack”.

As the train was pulling away from us Barbie realized that her backpack, complete with laptop, notebooks and such, was sitting under our chairs on the train that was slowly pulling away to the west.


smackdown encyclopedia brown sigma go


Chinese Barbie definitely needs remedial stroller training

This morning I went with a co-worker to a small little restaurant near my work called Pestos (University and Elm in Toronto).  Generally we head over there whenever we are looking for something for breakfast since I can get a toasted western and tea for under $5, which is awesome in Toronto were a Ritz Cracker can go for a bar of gold.

While we were leaving we saw a Chinese lady pushing a baby stroller toward the main entrance of the office building that Pestos is part of.  As she approached the entrance we never paid much attention until we heard the cries of dismay behind us.  We turned around to see what was going on and what caught our eye was somewhat alarming.  The lady was stuck inside the revolving door with her stroller in the quartered section ahead of her and no longer moving.  It seems the wheels got stuck while making the rotation and thus locking the mother, or sitter, was stuck.

Frantically the woman was pushing on the door in both directions trying to catch a break of good fortune and have the doors rotate in either direction.  As we started walking back another lady had come up to the door and witnessed the debacle.  She went over one of the two doors that opened up as a normal door would and walked into the building.  From there she removed the stroller and let the lady get herself out of her self-created prison.

I have to be absolutely honest that I started laughing once the whole thing was done.  To me, and to many I know, it would seem common sense to use one of the regular doors when pushing a baby stroller…or I’m giving humanity way too much credit for intelligence.


Bolshevik Ken and The Metal Conundrum

For those unaware I work in a metal shop making parts for one of the research hospitals in Toronto and my usual story time subject is Barbie, who works at one of the bank head offices in Toronto as well.  So this story actually involves me and not Barbie this time.

This morning I was writing up S.O.P’s, which are Standard Operation Procedures, for the various machines I am responsible for because our Occupation Health and Safety department has decided that they require copies for their records.  While typing these forms up one of the contractors here at work came into my shop.  This gentleman is responsible for building a motion platform in one of the research labs and apparently some of their pieces didn’t fit properly.  So he comes into my shop looking for me to do some retrofit modifications to his parts and in his Russian accented voice says to me:

“My friend, I need these modified to this”, and he pulls out a drawing that they have hand written some changes on.  “I have 4 of these in total”, he says.

So I look at the pieces, which are metallic but painted so I’m not sure whether it was cast iron or steel and better yet if steel what type and was it heat-treated.

“You can place them on that work bench”, I say pointing to the nearest mill.  “What kind of material is this?”

He stands there and looks at me for a little while and says “Oh, they are metal”.  And this he turns and leaves as I stand there thinking to myself that this is a flipping machine shop and everything here is metal.

I swear I must have some sort of magnetic draw to conversations and incidents like this.


OMG, Where is my purse?

Yesterday was a rather trying day for Barbie at work for many reasons but the Barbie Fails moment came at the end of the day.

As the day came to a close Barbie went to get her purse as she was packing up to leave for the day.  Since the workstations have drawers for you to put your belongings in, desks are not permanent but rather signed out by employees so you may not have the same desk daily, Barbie had placed her purse inside the drawer that seemed to correspond with her desk.  From here I give you the play-by-play in Barbie’s own words:

When I realized my purse was trapped in the bottom drawer, I exclaimed
“OMG, my purse is locked in the drawer and Karen’s gone home for the
night”. Laury and I ran to the window of the 26th floor and saw that her
car had already left the Roy Thompson Hall parking lot. I ran to find
another lady with the hope of finding a spare key, but upon searching
her collection, we noted it was missing. Laury called someone else to
see if they had a key; also came up empty. At that point, we started to
laugh uncontrollably and decided it was the funniest thing that had
happened all day.

My purse spent the night, alone, locked in the bottom drawer.

And the offending co-workers version of events, after they had realized what happened:

Very sorry…I didn’t even think you were using the drawers as I saw
your backpack on the floor and thought that’s all you had..I used that
set of drawers as there is no key where I was at, it won’t happen again,
I’m so sorry.

The best part of all this was a somewhat flustered, yet in good spirits, Barbie getting into my car explaining what had happened and then realizing “I have no money, no I.D., no cell phone and no car keys.  So it’s a good thing you’re the one driving”.

For the record I’m always the one driving when it comes to going to Toronto for work 😉


Research Assistant Ken and the Solid Pipe

I was going to tell this story yesterday but since it was the 50th post I had to tell a Barbie related story, and since I’ve still got a few backlogged that I haven’t written I figured it was a good time to spill one out.  However, this story is about a co-worker of mine who is rather fond of the blog and laughs a lot at them when he hears them.  And now, due to a momentary lapse of synapse connection, he is going to be immortalized as a guest post.

My place of work is one of the premier research hospitals in North America, and the top one in Canada.  The tasks I have are to build prototypes of various devices, designed to assist patients and medical staff, that are tested and eventually put to market.  One of these projects that we were building involved a metal frame bent into shape with various diameter pipes.  One of the pipes wasn’t holding the form it was designed to hold so we figured we’d bend some new pipe with a thicker wall and better stability.

As we were trying to manually bend the pipe without crimping it, because our pipe bender is out of commission at the moment, my co-worker came out with a suggestion of such magnitude and brilliance that I heard angels sing from the heavens…or maybe just the extreme loudness of my laughter.

“Hey”, R.A. Ken says, “instead of using these pipes here wouldn’t the project be much stronger if we use a solid pipe?”

“If we use a what?”, I asked incredulously.

“A solid pipe.”

“A solid pipe?”, I asked again.

“Yeah a solid pipe.  That would make it way stronger and spring back wouldn’t it?” Ken asked.

“A solid effin’ pipe?”

“Yeah a solid…pipe…”, Ken repeated rather slowly as you could see the lights start to brighten inside his brain.  “Dammit, you know what I meant.  And you’re going to blog this aren’t you?”

“Oh yeah you know I will”, I said.  “A solid pipe hahahaha.”

I walked back to office laughing my head off and really wondering whether a university degree is actually a good thing.


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