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Barbie Has A Meltdown – Chernobyl style

Yesterday was a very eventful day here in Barbie World.  It started with the morning medicating of her dog Chelsea, who is a Shetland Collie.  On Tuesday it was confirmed that Chelsea had a doggie version of an ACL tear in her right hind leg.  So on Thursday Chelsea went into surgery for the repairs to be done which is actually called ‘Tightrope CCL Surgery’.  One of the three medications sent home was Rimadryl, which is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug used as a pain-killer for dogs.  The bigger problem with Rimadryl is the fact that it is somewhat toxic to cats and Barbie, of course, owns a cat.

So on Friday morning while feeding the dog her Rimadryl, which she was supposed to take a full pill and half of another pill, by mixing the medication with some Beneful wet-food for the dog.  However, as anyone who has owned two pets, you can’t feed one without the other.  So Barbie proceeded to feed the cat some of his wet food.  This is where the panic and eventual meltdown started.

So I came down the stairs to make some morning tea and there is Barbie in full panic and almost in tears.  “I think I’ve killed the cat”, where the words I was met with.  Of course when I looked over her shoulder there is Dexter, the cat, sitting on his little table eating and as content as anything.

“Um, no you didn’t.  He’s sitting right there as happy as Larry”, I said to her.

“No, I’ve killed him.”

“How in the heck did you kill the cat this time?”, I asked.  Note I said this time.  We have gone down this path before, including one incident where she thought the cat had been licking at a spot in the floor that Barbie had cleaned with Javex.

“I fed Chelsea and gave her the Rimadryl”, she blubbered out.  “And…”, I stated.

“And I used the same fork for both their meals and I think he might have got some medication too.”

“What do you mean you think he got some?  Isn’t it a pill?”

“Yes but the half pill might have stuck to the fork and now I’ve killed the cat.  I have to call the vet and get his stomach pumped.”

“No we don’t.  The pill didn’t stick to the fork.  And the cat will be fine”

So this went on for a few more minutes with Barbie getting more and more upset to where the tears had started.  About this time Barbie’s brother arrived at the house and the whole conversation above started again.  Only this time more agitated and stressed out on Barbie’s end.  Her brother would eventually ask how do you know that’s toxic to the cat and the answer came “I looked it up on the internet.  And I poisoned him.  And he’s going to get seizures, and his kidney’s will fail and…”

“Oh lord, you need to stay off the internet.  In fact we should take the internet away from you”

At this point Barbie’s mum had called and things just snowballed even more.  When Barbie got on the phone the water works started again as she tried to tell her mum she had killed the cat.  As we sat listening to Barbie tearfully mumble her story all we could hear on the other end was her mum going “What?  Start again.  I can’t understand a word you’ve said”.

So Barbie went through the story at least two more times before she was actually coherent enough to be understood.  Once the story came out Barbie’s brother and I could just hear this loud burst of laughter from the other end of the phone.  Apparently Barbie’s mum also found this as humorous as the rest of us…well except Barbie she wasn’t humoured as all.  When we finally got Barbie settled down she adamantly stated “If my cat dies all of you arseholes are chipping in to buy me a new one”.

The rest of the day was uneventful until bed time when Barbie removed her contacts and then 30 seconds later tried to remove them again and scratched her eye resulting in her having to wear glasses for today.  As a follow-up here are some of Barbie’s internet research follies:

  1. panicked that she poisoned the cat with Rimadryl
  2. thought she had developed Parkinson’s when her hands started shaking (it was a hyper-active thyroid)
  3. thought she had developed lymphoma when she thought her lymph nodes had swollen (it was due to some close shaving in her grooming it turns out)
  4. her dog’s limp was originally a grass seed trapped in her paw and worked its way into her leg (another internet find)
  5. the cat ate a small metal ring, used for making bracelets, and it was going to rip his intestines open
  6. the dog started vomiting, after my mum gave her a sausage, and Barbie was convinced it was a twisted stomach and not just an intolerance to the sausage

So as you can see Barbie is a little bit of a hypochondriac and the internet is at times the worst enemy instead of being a tool of resource.



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